Teaching Your Toddler To Ski

As a mom who loves to ski, the chance to teach my son to love the slopes is something I’ve been waiting for since the day I found out I was pregnant. (In that, “OMG, I didn’t realize until now but I’ve been looking forward to taking him skiing since he was in my belly!” kind of way.) But to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t really sure HOW to teach a three year old to ski. I mean...I didn’t even know where to begin.  

So I did what anyone would do and got a job teaching ski school! (Ok, ok, most people would search for blogs like this one and fall down the You Tube rabbit hole lookng for tips. But I’m an overachiever with a slow winter work schedule and a mother-in-law who has been teaching ski school for 8 years who practically filled out the application for me so...here we are.) But all kidding aside, learning techniques to teach tiny people to ski was one of my primary reasons for taking the gig. I still have a lot to learn (and endless certifications to pursue) but this season has taught me so much about the do’s and don’ts of toddler skiing.

DO: Look up You Tube videos of children skiing to watch with your kiddo. This will give them a connection to other kids their age skiing and gets them stoked about what they will be doing. This dad/daughter duo is one of my favorites on the internet. Dad has a contagious stoke and joy for being with his daughter on the slopes that can’t be matched and the little girl is having a blast.

DON’T: Buy snow clothes for your child at Target. While I know the price of winter gear is daunting, especially for people who will keep growing, discount store snow clothes will not be truly waterproof or particularly warm. A kid who becomes soaked and cold will not have fun, and if they don’t have fun they won’t want to do it again. A few tips to keep the price down: Try SIerra Trading Post for reasonably priced kids gear. We found the Little Bear’s snow pants on there this year for $24, roughly the same as Target gear but it is actually waterproof. If possible, you can buy your child one size too large coat and pants and get two seasons out of it. Don’t buy it so big and floppy that they trip over it or can’t move, but a little big is fine. You can also check out the Obermeyer iGrow system. There is stitching at the legs and arms that you remove to lengthen them in season two. If you combine this technique with the “buy a little big” technique you may get 3 seasons out of your child’s snow gear.

DO: Practice footwork before you hit the slopes! It can take tiny people a lot of practice to move their feet into the “pizza” shape that they will need to be able to control their speed. They won’t really want to practice this over and over on the slopes because...they just wanna SKI! (Really, can you blame em?) Help them learn to lean into the balls of their feet and slide their heels to the pizza shape. Feel free to physically move their feet for them a few times until they get the idea. Little children have difficulty moving their arms and legs separately so capitalize this and encourage them to make their arms into pizza too! It will help. And be the cutest thing ever!

This shape takes a lot of practice to make! 

DON’T: Use those leashes or ski behind them to hold them up. These things make me crazy. Children already have a great deal of difficulty getting their weight forward when skiing and pulling on their backs or being behind them encourages them to lean back into it. Additionally, instead of learning from day one to control their speed they learn to hurtle down the mountain with the expectation that someone will magically stop them. I’ve seen many many children come to ski school who were basically “foot sledding” down the hill at 2 and 3 years old who then, at 4, come to ski school to learn to ski for real. Problem is they have a TON of resistance to learning technique because they spent the previous two seasons flying downhill. That’s what they think skiing is all about and changing that pattern is extremely difficult.

In this moment I needed to be behind him to help him learn to load the lift. See how he is practically sitting on my hands? You don't want to cement this sitting back habit all the way down the hill. 

DO: Ski backwards in front of them! This way you can ensure their safety as they learn speed control and they will naturally want to lean forward, which is the body position you want to teach them. You can have them press the palms of their hands into your hands as they ski. It will give them confidence, move their weight forward, and encourage them to look up at you instead of at their skis. From this position you can also reach down and physically move their feet into the pizza shape if they are having difficulty.

DO: Use “tip clips”. They go on the ends of their skis to prevent ski drift. Tiny people don’t always have the muscle control to slide their heels out into the pizza shape without their legs completely drifting into the splits. This gives them a bit of support and helps lock in the muscle memory of what correct positioning should feel like.

DON’T: Wake your kids at 4 AM and feed them donuts and red gatorade while driving swiftly to high elevation. Seriously people. What is up with this phenomenon? I can’t tell you how many bright red piles of donut puke have ended up in the snow from this mixture. Driving to high altitude can cause altitude sickness by itself, add in a giant pile of fried dough, sugar and red dye and you have a seriously queasy combination! Instead, encourage healthy protein rich breakfast and drinking water to combat the change in altitude and help your kiddo feel their best. If at all possible, spend the night near the ski hill beforehand so they can be well rested and have a bit of time to adjust to the altitude.

DO: Keep it fun and light! Expect that they will struggle at least a little. Expect not to see a future olympian their first day out. Laugh with them when they fall, cheer for them and be stoked no matter what. Take lots of breaks to make snow angels and throw snowballs. Visit the lodge for hot cocoa and snacks. Getting wound up about their performance or getting everything “right” will stress them out and make them not want to do it again next time. The MOST important thing on your first few visits to the mountain are cementing positive happy memories with their parents that make them want to come back again and again.

Having fun and bonding on the slopes is the most important thing at this age! 

DON’T: Try to “get your money’s worth”. I completely understand the desire to make the most out of that $30 gear rental fee, or the expensive lift ticket. I really do. But teaching a toddler to ski and love it is a long game. My 3yo son is good for about an hour before he is doing the “limp noodle” flop onto the snow and descending into that particular delirious laughter that indicates an attitude crash is coming. Expect to spend about an hour on the slopes with your little one at first. Prepare yourself mentally to count the cost of that hour as money well spent investing in your child’s love for the sport rather than insisting on going all day and causing exhaustion and resistance next time.

Officially "limp noodle" status. Don't push it. When they start to fall all over, pack it in. 

DO: Look into creative options for acquiring ski equipment. It is wise to just do a day rental the first time or two out (make sure they actually LIKE skiing first), but that will get very expensive very quickly. If you live near enough to skiing, check the local ski shops for season rentals. For around $150 you can rent skis for the whole season for your kiddo. Not only does this cut the cost of ski rental for trips to the mountain, but if there are small sledding hills near you that regularly get snow, you can hit those up quickly and easily if you have gear for your kids. If you have 3 or more children, it might make sense to purchase equipment each year for the oldest child and pass it down. As you become integrated into the “skiing with kids” community, it is very likely that parents of older children will offer to sell you their children’s old equipment for a reasonable price.

If teaching your kiddo to ski still seems overwhelming, ski school really can be a great option. Here are a few dos and don’ts for trying ski school.

DON’T: Lie about your child’s age so they can take a group lesson. It happens all the time and it really serves no one. At the ski school where I work, group lessons start at 4, but you can get a private lesson at any age you want. Parents, desperate for somewhere to send their children so they can ski for a few hours, and unwilling to pay for private lesson rates regularly send their 3 year olds to group lessons claiming they are 4. I get it. I really do and I don’t judge you one bit. Mama’s gotta ski amirite!? But here’s the thing. There really is a pretty huge developmental and social difference between a 3 year old and a 4 year old. (And let’s not forget that your child’s group lesson could have children who are 5 or even 6 years old.) The 3 year old will be unlikely to keep up with a group of older students causing the 3 year old to feel frustrated and the rest of the class to have to do a lot of waiting. If your goal is getting professional instruction for your tot but you are queasy at the price of a private lesson, call ahead to the ski school and ask if they have any one hour lesson deals. At the mountain where I work we have “early bird” 1 hour privates. It’s roughly the cost of a two hour group lesson, but gets your child out 1x1 for an hour before the rush of the group lessons hits the bunny hill. As mentioned previously, 1 hour is enough for tiny people anyway and they will make more progress in a 1 hour private than a 2 hour group lesson. If you goal is a babysitter, hire one of those. It will be cheaper.

DON’T: Make your child go to ski school if they don’t want to. This is not preschool. The advice at preschool is, drop your child off and they will eventually stop crying and join the class. That is very sound advice. The dynamics of ski school are very very different. At preschool the child can be in the room with everyone else, be comforted when needed by an adult, and the rest of the class can go about their business until your child is ready to join in. At ski school we are putting on coats and mittens and moving the class out to the ski slopes. “Sad Pandas” (our ski school’s name for crying or sick children) often simply refuse to move or do anything but wail and scream. The rest of the class cannot go about their business. What ends up happening 90% of the time is the sad panda has to have their parents called to pick them up early and the parents are now out the cost of ski school having gained nothing.

DO: Tip your child’s instructor. Ski instructors are making roughly minimum wage and are only being paid for the 2 or 4 hours a day they are physically teaching (even though they may be “at work” 6-8 hours). They depend on tips to be able to afford to be ski school instructors. No one teaches ski school to get rich, they do it because they have mad love for the game and a passion for teaching the sport to the next generation. But they need to eat too. No instructor expects to be tipped or is mad if you don’t, but they deeply appreciate it when you do.

Woohoo! Alright everyone! Are you ready!? Let’s get those kids out there to ski! Do you have any other great tips for teaching toddlers to ski? Still have questions? Leave me a comment and let me know!        

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Best Tips For More Adventure as A Mama

You’ve heard from me on how I find more time and money to adventure and kick the mom guilt to the curb. (If you missed it, those pieces are Here, Here, Here, and Here.) Now enjoy these “best tips” from some of my other favorite adventure loving mama bloggers. Take it away ladies!

“I'm a mom of 4 and getting "me" time is something I always make room for on a monthly basis. Whether it be a solo hike or dinner with a friend, having time to reset and catch up is a must when balancing out the #momlife. In order to make time for it, I use a shared calendar with my husband to keep each other informed of dates. This makes life easy because: auto-reminders!

My only advice around "mom guilt" is don't have it. I gave up overcompensating when things don't go as planned, years ago. As moms we have SO much to juggle and guilt should not be one of them. Instead, I try expressing how grateful I am to even be able to see them considering our packed schedules.

Meeting up for hikes or outdoor time is a great way to emphasize quality time without spending a ton of money. We like bringing snacks to share and 9 times out of 10 my kids will chomp on someone else's snacks in lieu of their own and vice versa.”

Stephanie Harper of Raising Kids Wild

“It's been hard to set aside time to adventure.

To take time I set adventure goals and prioritize those goals so that I get time for myself whether it is getting family to watch the kids or a babysitter.

Money is also a challenge. I have had to adjust what I like to do and have started trail running, hiking and cross country skiing more because they are less expensive.  I try to save money, even if it's only $10, each week so that I can go on bigger adventures like snowboarding or overnight trips.

Mom guilt is always a struggle but I am getting better. I struggle more with missing the littles but whenever I get the time away I feel so much better. A lot of positive self talk helps that it is good for all of us when I take time for myself away from the family. This helps me to prioritize self adventure time and I always feel better after.”

Annika Mang of Born To Be Adventurous

“My two cents on getting outside and adventuring as a mom:

- choose it over laundry and the floors (that stuff can always wait)

- make it a priority by telling other people you are doing it and that way it's harder to bail on your plans due to any of the issues you mentioned (time, money, kids, guilt)

- create purpose behind it (ex a blog you are writing, a pic you want to capture, a story you want to tell). This helps drive the motivation and push through the things that may trick you to stay home.....I feel mixed on this one though because really you should be able to go just 'to go' but desperate times... ”

Chantelle Quesnelle of Tablespoon Of Wild

"Time - One way I make time for getting outdoors is living near the outdoors. I live in the mountains near Sundance Mountain Resort in Utah and can “get outdoors” just by walking out the door. Although that’s not an option for many, working the outdoors into everyday life can be that easy. Eat dinner outside. Go for a walk around your office. Notice the birds outside your window. Not every outdoor adventure needs to be an epic three day getaway. Although those are awesome, they’re also a lot of work. Sometimes just a little sunshine is enough.

Money - I loved MamaWildandFree’s tips on overcoming the money obstacle. In many cases getting outdoors is a free and easy activity. National Parks, Forests, State Land, Local Parks, so many areas have been set aside for public use. My family purchases an $80 annual federal lands pass (https://www.nps.gov/planyourvisit/passes.htm) each year and make a goal to get our money’s worth. In 2016 we visited 23 National Parks and Monuments on our National Park to Park Highway tour so we definitely got our money’s worth.

Mom Guilt - That’s easy. I deal with my mom guilt by just bringing the kids along with me. Yes it sets a snail’s pace for my adventures and involves a lot of snacks and potty breaks along the way, but it allows me to share what I love with the ones I love the most."

Susan Strayer from MountainMomandTots.com   

Woo! Aren’t these mamas just the best! Be sure to check out their blogs for more amazing inspiration!

I hope this series has inspired you to get creative in removing the obstacles to outdoor adventure and get outside more. Will you do me a favor? Will you leave me a comment below and tell me ONE tip you will try this year?

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Mom Guilt Is A Feminist Issue

In the heat of this contentious 2016 election cycle, there was one sound bite that stuck with me more than some of the others. (Though to be fair, there was plenty in all that madness to remember.) It was the media crucifixion of Chelsea Clinton for not being present for her child’s first day of preschool drop off.

Apparently, according to some, a mother needing to work out of town and leaving her children in the capable hands of their father while she does so amounts to abandonment, neglect and a cold hearted lack of maternal instinct. It pegs her as a bad mother, or really, hardly a mother at all. What kind of mother puts work (or anything else) ahead of her precious children even for a single day!? How could she miss even a single life milestone like that!? That poor child! Can you imagine the emotional scarring? The therapy she will need one day to work through the damage that will be caused from having such an absentee mother?!

Yeah...reading nonsense like that gave me the same disgusted, exhausted and annoyed feeling it does for working moms everywhere. For every feminist, mother or not, who doesn’t have to think for more than a second to see that no one would EVER make statements like that about a man, these assertions are ludicrous and disgusting. For generations men have worked away from the home, often to the point of spending so little time with their children that they hardly know one another. Cat’s in the Cradle anyone? Yet in this modern era of a more equitable division of income earning, mothers are criticised for allowing their spouses to take a pull at the child care from time to time. We’ll just never mind the sentiments about daycare. (But seriously though, if one more sanctimommy mutters anything about preschool “raising” my kid for me, fur is gonna fly.)

But as I worked through my outrage and disgust at the double standard that Ms. Clinton is being held to, it hit me. I wonder how SHE feels about missing that drop off? Does it give her pangs of regret and sadness? Because I would, despite my firm convictions that the child is fine and Dad is a capable parent too, feel a little bummed about missing a first preschool drop off. And I had to ask myself, “why?” Why would I feel guilty to leave my child with his DAD for the first day of preschool while I was doing a job that I love, have worked hard for, puts food on our table, and sets a positive example to my son about the role of women in the home and workplace?

Is it really innate? Is the guilt and sadness because I went through the lengthy hormonal roller coaster and physical output of making him? Maybe. Probably at least a little. But really, I think it is deeply entrenched programming about what is expected of me as a mother. That mothers should be there to see and experience every last moment of their children’s lives. That we should nurture our children constantly. That good mothers miss nothing. In many ways it doesn’t matter how much I logically think it’s horse shit. The programming is in there and it is crazy hard to shake.

And if we have a hard time shaking the mom guilt in order to work, in order to help provide life necessities and a solid future for the very children we feel guilty for leaving, how much harder is it to leave for a purely self serving purpose. To plan and actually go on an adventure to recharge our batteries. It’s incredibly hard. When I’ve been working all day it can be tempting to skip that bike ride after work because dang it I miss my kid. I worry that I’m being selfish to take another chunk of time away from him just because I want to. Going for three or four days? Whew! He might just graduate college when I’m not looking!

But I go. I go on that ride after work. I take that weekend away. I take that time to be with myself, with my friends. To remember who I am, what makes me tick. To resonate with the universe. Because when I do that, I come back ready to reconnect with my son on a deeper level. To be fully present with him and focused on him. I don’t believe that children need some vast expanse of time in which they receive our half attention. I’m not sure it is building up HIS reserves to wander on my periphery as I distractedly try to get him to go do something else so I can think straight. When I have been buried in piles of life stuff and childcare too long, that’s exactly what happens. When I have properly cared for myself, I am refreshed and ready to give him my full attention. If kids benefit from their parents being present, I want to have the stamina to actually BE present. Mind, body, spirit.   

Let’s also not forget that when I’m out there taking care of myself, it isn’t like my son is stranded with the wolves. Me getting out of the way gives my husband the space to connect with our son too. To be fully at the wheel of parenting his child. To do their father son things without my interference. To decide to eat broccoli for dinner, or skip straight to the ice cream. By walking away placing full confidence in my child’s dad to care for him, I empower them both. It sends my husband the message that I trust him completely to Dad. That I know he is capable as a parent and doesn’t need my list of dos and don’ts while I’m gone. Dad is not a babysitter. He’s a parent. It sends my son the message that people other than me are capable of meeting his needs and that the entire world is a safe place, not just mom. When I return, I come home to two happy healthy men, who have grown closer and more understanding of one another. Then it’s my turn. I take on the parent cape to ensure my spouse gets time for himself too while our son and I focus on each other.

If you are a single parent with no family near, you too can step away sometimes. That’s what community is for. When I think about the villages of a traditional people, everyone pitched in to share the load of child rearing, and everyone got a break sometimes. We don’t have a village anymore, so we need to make one. FInd your tribe. Find mamas you love and trust who you can trade babysitting time with. Find an amazing sitter who your kids love and you trust like a sister. Then go without guilt. It will be good for you and your children.

No one criticizes a man for working, for taking a weeks long hunting trip, for doing whatever he needs to do to feel whole and happy. We don’t need to accept that criticism either. Especially from ourselves.

The next time you feel that twang of guilt for taking care of yourself, let’s examine where that comes from. Ask yourself if a man would feel guilty for the same thing. As we work to dismantle the patriarchy that holds women to a different standard than men, we must identify the programming in ourselves first. Because mom guilt is a feminist issue.     

(This post is part 4, or a 5 part series on removing the obstacles moms face to getting out for more adventure. See part 1, 2, 3, and 5)      

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Fun Vs. The 401K

“Pay yourself first!” “Max out your 401k, Roth IRA, and every other saving platform available before you even think about doing anything else!” “When you get a raise, don’t spend it! Save it!” “If you don’t save every possible penny you will never be able to retire and will have to work forever!”

These refrains sound familiar to anyone who has read the prevailing wisdom around finances in the modern world. And it’s not really wrong. Saving is great. Financial responsibility is important. Planning for the future is going to make a lot of things much easier down the road.

But what about your life right now? Today. What about the span of time between ages 18-67. Is that really meant to be 50 years of nose to the grindstone, scrimping, saving, sacrificing, and hiding in your home all for the promise of some far off glorious day when you retire and finally get to start living? I sure as hell hope not.

I’ve seen it again and again. People who denied themselves any adventure, travel, or outside the norm life experiences because they believed that they had to put everything on hold until they had a certain sized nest egg. Until the government deemed them qualified to retire from working, so they could really start living. And you know what happens shortly after they finally reach the promised land of medicare and drawing from their retirement income right? Heart attack. Cancer diagnosis. Or such general ill health that they are too weak, tired and broken to enjoy this long awaited “permission” to finally enjoy this thing called life. It’s the most heartbreaking cautionary tale I have ever seen. And it happens all the time.

I have experienced it even in my own little microcosm. My last 3 years or so I’ve had some health struggles. Illnesses and injuries that have meant I can’t do some of the things I used to do, and other activities have to be done slower and more cautiously than before. It really puts a bright, shining perspective on the health and vibrancy that I once took for granted. It helps me feel immensely grateful for the experiences I have already had and makes me wish I had done a few other things that had been on the back burner. But more than anything it makes me devoted to checking things off the bucket list now. No waiting. No putting it off to some far off “someday” that may never come.

I want to live now. And tomorrow. And next week. I have no way to know when this life will end or what limitations will come tomorrow. I know I have today.

I was asked recently what I would do if I wasn’t afraid. I pondered this and initially thought that fear doesn’t really play a big part in my decision making anymore. I really don’t think fear holds me back from anything. But then I realized that fear does play a part. My fear is arriving at the end of my life thinking I had missed something important. I perish the thought of missing out on something wonderful because I was being too cautious. Too reserved. I want to live out loud in full vibrant color holding nothing back until I finally collapse into a heap exhilarated and satisfied. If that means not maxing out my IRA this year so I can pay for the experiences that are important to me, I'm ok with that. 

I’m not suggesting you do something blatantly irresponsible. Yes, make sure you are paying your bills and planning for the future. But don’t be so focused on tomorrow that you forget about today. Maybe this year, put that raise into your travel fund. Make a plan for some things you can do today, and in the coming year, that will start you living the life you really want to live. I truly believe that money is a renewable resource. There is plenty to go around, and plenty more where that came from. You can always make more money. You cannot make more time. 

When asked what puzzled him most about humanity the Dalai Lama said, “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”    

Or put another way, I leave you with these wise words from Alan Watts:

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How to Raise Kids Who Love Outdoor Adventure

As an adventure loving mama, the early years with your tiny training partner are going to be a combination of slow, interrupted ambles in the woods (punctuated by stops for nursing, diaper changes/potty breaks, snacks, and the need to examine the fascinating structure of every stick and rock) with the occasional passing off of your darling progeny to your partner, grandma, or a sitter so that you can get out alone long enough to run fast, scream real loud and come back feeling human. In other words, it is largely about getting yourself back out there so that you don’t lose everything that was important to you pre-kid.

And maybe, like me, you also hope that you will ignite the spark of outdoor exploration in your child too. That they will find joy and fulfillment in a life outside. That as they grow bigger and stronger they will not only enjoy keeping up with you , but that they will one day hike farther, ride faster, and climb higher than you can.

Little Bear and a friend inspect I tiny catfish they caught. Kids love to see nature up close. Let them. 

We all know, however, that children hit phases of life where they become rebellious. Where anything and everything that their parents ever held dear gets jettisoned faster than hippies ditching weed when the cops show up. How then, do we instill the love of adventure that we have, without triggering the pushback?

While my child is only just 3, and I can’t claim to have “raised” an adventure loving kid yet, I do have about 15 years of experience (between classroom teaching and working as an outdoor educator) of observing other families’ tactics and outcomes and think I have spotted a few things that work, and some that don’t.

My best tips for raising adventure loving kids.

• Get them out early and often: The sooner and more frequently children are exposed to the outdoors the more comfortable they will be there, and the more they will view it as being normal. This doesn’t have to mean epic big wall climbs or weeks spent camping in extreme weather. Evening walks before dinner, afternoons in the backyard, Sunday family hikes at the nearest nature trail work well. The right amount of time will be something you feel out for your own family. We envisioned ourselves as the family who would camp with the tiniest newborn baby. In reality we camped once in our colicky, non-sleeping child’s first year. It was hell. He already basically never slept, in an unfamiliar place it was a non-stop scream fest. At first light I declared the trip over and we were going home. Other families report that their young babies sleep considerably better in a tent than at home. Everyone is different, so play it by ear. (Don’t worry, our 3 year old is now a champion camper. He calls our tent the “camping house” and becomes quite displeased when it is time to take it down and go home.)

• Let them see you enjoy outdoor activities: I spend a lot of time beating the drum about the importance of getting mama (and papa) out to experience their favorite activities for their own health and sanity. But taking care of yourself in this way has a hugely positive impact on your kids too. Not only because when you are happy and fulfilled you have more energy and patience for your children’s needs, but also, when they see these activities having a positive impact on you they will learn by watching that playing outside is fun and rewarding.

• Respect their interests: If all we do is push our own agenda onto our kids, we will create the push back and rebellion that we are trying to avoid. Watch your children and listen to what they tell you is important to them. This starts in the earliest toddler years with letting that hike turn into hours of splashing in the creek instead, not always having to push through for the exact itinerary you envisioned. Once they are old enough to show what they enjoy, it means supporting those things. My son has been talking about skiing nonstop the last month or so. Every day he asks when the snow is going to come so we can “go skiing at the skiing place”. Folks...he went skiing exactly once last year with his Grama. Once. They were out for like...20 min. It was way too cold that day. He is still obsessing. So, I guess we will do a lot of focusing on skiing this winter. I’m also noticing a natural inclination to climb EVERYTHING. So, I recently dug out my 20 year old climbing gear and am working on building those skills so that I can teach him how to do it too.

• Acquire top quality equipment for them: Look, I don’t want to be out in the cold and wet in crappy cotton sweatpants and a hoodie, neither does my kid. If they are cold, wet, miserable and fighting against heavy, barely functional walmart grade equipment, they are going to have a bad time. And a bad time means not wanting to do it again. I get it. Kids grow fast, and their interests change. The last thing parents want to do is dump gobs of money into stuff that will only be useful for a little while. But if we really want to raise kids who think outdoor adventure is fun, we need to get comfortable with the idea that we WILL be spending serious cash on their gear. Also, get creative! If you know the quality brands of mountain bikes for kids, you can keep an eye out for second hand versions. Heck, you can probably resell it later for nearly what you paid AND pass that awesome bike onto another stoked little kid. Find other outdoor loving parents who will swap gear. Maybe they will loan you their oldest kid’s climbing harness for this season and you can loan their youngest your kid’s outgrown snow suit. Win-Win. Many ski shops offer season rentals on kids equipment. You pay one reasonable flat fee to use the skis for one winter and return them at the end of the season. No need to buy brand new ones every year. But whatever you do, outfit the kids with the best equipment you can manage and everyone will have more fun.

• Push them, but not too much: Just like adults, children need to build their physical and mental capacity for physical exertion little by little. As they are asked to hike a little further this week than last week, they build muscles and their own knowledge that they are capable. As parents, we will sometimes need to move the bar a bit for them. If you know they can hike a mile, try a mile and a quarter next time. But always move incrementally and have a bailout option in mind. The last thing you want is for your kid to decide that hiking with mom is akin to a death march and will be a miserable experience.      

• Make outdoor time fun: Let them have the super sugary cereal when camping. Save special toys for outdoor hang out time. Teach them fun games to play on the trail. Hiking isn’t fun to kids the same way it is for adults. The more you can inject fun out there, the more they will want to do it.  

• Beware hedonic adaptation: Humans are ease and comfort seeking creatures by nature. It is an understandable part of our DNA. Life for our ancestors, the ones who gave us our genetic makeup, was hard. Really hard. A daily battle for enough food, and water to keep on living while trying to stay warm, dry, and protected. Being able to identify ways to make life easier and more comfortable is a survival advantage. Once we become accustomed to a certain comfort level, we begin to expect that level and want things even more comfortable. Seeking ease and pleasure is normal. But in our modern world where we have more ease and pleasure available to us at every moment of every day than our ancestors could have ever imagined, we may have to be intentional about limiting our constant comfort and entertainment. I don’t want my child to be miserable of course, but letting him get slightly hot or slightly chilly and teaching him how to handle those situations will help him learn that slight discomfort won’t kill him, and teach him how to prepare and take care of himself. I want to let him get a little bored sometimes. Being outdoors can be thrilling for sure, but it is usually brief moments of thrilling accentuating hours of monotony. Learning to deal with the boredom is good for us all.

• But don’t ban the screens: Lest you think my previous point was going to lead to a sanctimonious rant about the evils of screen time, it isn’t. Like anything we forbid, screens will simply become more attractive if we fight too hard against them. Like many parents who value unplugged time, I too have a natural tendency to want to just live out in the trees in some Walden-esque manner eschewing technology and protecting my little snowflake from the evils of the flashing pixels. But let’s get real. We are modern humans who live in the real world. Forbidding all screen time or technology use is not only unreasonable, but it will be counter productive. It can even create an obsession with the forbidden fruit. And really, your child will, without a doubt, use technology someday as part of their job. Fingers in the ears and singing “la la la” isn’t serving anyone.

• Surround yourselves with like minded families: If your family and your kid are the only ones in town who spend their weekends mountain biking and climbing, it will seem “weird”. Having a community of other adventure loving families around will help them see that being an outdoor family is normal.    

Playing outside is more fun with a friend!

Of course, there is no perfect formula for raising kids that love nature and adventure as much as they love indoor activities and screentime, but I do think adopting these practices will help point them in the outdoor direction.

How do you encourage a love for the outdoors in your kids? Leave me a comment and let me know!            

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4 Outdoor Mindfulness Activities for Kids (and the adults who love them)

This. Life. Is. Busy. It is full, and hectic and distracted and bounces around all over the place. When I allow myself to get sucked into the ever shifting tide of phone notifications, long lists of work tasks, an over abundance of social obligations and anything else the world wants to throw at me I am anxious, grouchy, and disconnected.

Our children are no different. THEY live in this world of crazy too. They pick up on our hectic vibe, and the expectations on them even as young as preschool are becoming more and more intense.

We can let ourselves and our children get swept away in this maddening stress driven culture, OR we can choose to cultivate slow. To breathe deep, get intentional, and train ourselves and our littles to be mindful about curating our focus and attention.

Mindfulness doesn’t just happen. It is a skill we must practice and polish. Meditation and yoga are wonderful tools. But there is nothing that calms and soothes me nearly so much as being in nature. Most children are the same way. If we add some activities that require focus and attention we get even more bang for our nature time buck.

• Color Matching: How many colors are there in nature? 3? 4? Look closer and you will see thousands of shades of green, brown, hot pink, bright orange, purple and blue. When we only whiz past everything outside, we don’t notice all this variety. Slow down and look more closely. Before playing this game, stop by your local home supply store and grab a handful of paint color cards. These come in single colors, or sometimes in a strip with different shades of the same color on each card. Both are useful in their own way. For younger children, just focus on having them find that particular color. A green plant to match the green card, some pink in a rock to match the pink card, orange lichen for the orange card. As they get older, up the challenge to have them match the exact shade of the color as closely as possible. Sure that pineneedle is green, but is it the exact shade of blueish green on the card? No? Keep looking! You will be amazed at the variety of colors you will find. Shades you didn’t think were possible to find in nature. Get wild with it! Don’t limit yourself to blue, green, and brown! Grab a royal purple, maroon, magenta. Its out there. Look big and small. Near and far. Not only does this cultivate mindfulness, but with younger children you are practicing their colors, for which you can give yourself a gold star on your mom chart. (Stars may be redeemed for glasses of pinot after a long day.)

• Rock Stacking: Is this just one of those things that humans have naturally wanted to do since the beginning of time? I think yes. Get yourself and your kiddos to a dry river bed, or other location with plenty of different sizes and shapes of rocks and them let them go wild trying to stack and balance them in different ways. The irregular shape of rocks makes this more challenging than stacking building blocks, and over time your child will develop an inexplicable inner sense of physics that allows them to do improbable things like balancing large rocks on top of smaller ones. (Side note: you are teaching physics! More gold mom stars! More wine!) Before you leave though, make sure to have your children dismantle the stacks. Leaving rocks stacked is a controversial practice that is considered destructive to the natural feel of a place and in opposition to Leave No Trace outdoor ethics. Leaving rock stacks in National Parks or Monuments is illegal. If your children are having a hard time embracing the ephemeral nature of rock art, let them take pictures before they pull it apart.

• Make a Sound Map: The basics of this activity is to sit somewhere and be absolutely still and silent, noticing the sounds around you and where the sound is coming from relative to your position. With the littlest children, just have them sit in your lap and listen together. After a minute or so of quiet, talk about the sounds you heard around you. With older children they can actually map out what they hear on paper. Have them make an X in the center of their paper. The X is them. Anytime they hear a sound, have them make a symbol on the paper in the place they hear it, to represent the sound. If the child is old enough to be working on map skills, have them find north and orient themselves to face that way. They can add a compass rose and key to their map too. As they get better at it and more skilled with age, continue to add levels of complexity to their maps. But remember to keep it light, fun, and relaxing. Pushing them to add complexity to the map before they are really ready adds stress and detracts from the relaxing aim of the game. That would cause an immediate loss of mom gold stars.

• Watch the Clouds: Yes. Just the good old fashioned “lay on your back and relax” version of cloud watching. Snuggle into the grass, take a deep breath, get quiet and watch. Notice the roiling build, the sideways wandering. Let your mind make bunnies, dinosaurs, and pirate ships.

"I'm gonna sit here just quietly and watch the creek. Ok mama?"

Each of these activities has a distinct mental focus. It is a common misconception that meditation and mindfulness practices need to involve a clearing or emptying of the mind. This is not true at all. I’m not sure even the most practiced and disciplined of monks can do that. Mindfulness practice is about cultivating slow, calming the wild bouncing in our heads, and being in charge of what our minds focus on.

Do you have a mindfulness practice that you enjoy? Do you share one with your children? I’d love to hear from you. Leave me comment and let me know!          

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Southern Colorado with a 2 Year Old Part 3

After our adventures at Hermosa Creek, we packed up camp to move to a location outside of Telluride, near Lizard Head Pass. I say WE packed up, as though I had anything to do with it. In reality, my very ambitious spouse packed up camp, while I was riding, amid the protestations of a cranky kid who thought the world was ending when the tent was being put away. By the time they picked me up, the hubs looked a little like he had just survived an attack by dementors. (To be clear, I had advised against the solo pack up plan. He did it anyway. And he rocked it. And he decided against doing it again.)

We settled into our new camp with a spectacular view about an hour and half before dark and managed to tag team a basic camp setup and simple dinner in record time. (I think we’re getting good at this!)

A beautiful spot for dinner. (side note: This Hammock SAVED us. By dinner prep every night Little Mr. No Nap was in a mood for mischief! We found that putting up a hammock bought us a solid 30 minutes of containment and contentment for him so we could make a meal!)

Having done a fair amount of driving around shuttling bikes, people, and stuff so far in our trip we were ready for a low driving day. The map indicated that there was a 2.5 mile (one way) hike to an alpine lake just a few miles up the road.

If hiking fails...try flying! 

These days, hiking with the Little Bear is a juggle between his desire to walk on his own, and our need to make time. He rode for a bit in the backpack, and when we got to the waterfall he hoped out to explore. He happily hiked/ran up the next mile or so under his own power, though the steep grade slowed him down a bit. We finally needed to convince him to get back in the pack. Afternoon monsoons were building and we didn’t want to be stuck at the top of the hike above treeline with lightning coming in. Toddlers, however, are not beings to be reasoned with. One does not simply EXPLAIN to the toddler that getting back in the pack is necessary for safety. So...bribery it is! He is obsessed with these dried apricots we had gotten for the trip, and I’d had the measure out his consumption to avoid...you know...what happens when you eat too many dried apricots. Promising him fistfuls of the orange/brown orbs of sugary goodness did the trick.

My three boys. 

As we climbed closer and closer to the lake, and we edged closer and closer to nap time, I had to keep the snacks coming to avoid catastrophic melt down. When the apricots no longer cut it, we had to up the ante. I have written before about the importance of dum dums in a situation like this (you can read that article HERE) but we managed to be clean out of them at this crucial moment. Rooky mistake! I did, however, find another magical treat hidden in the our Osprey Poco. The marvelous and delicious Larabar Bites! These things are melt in your mouth chocolatey goodness! They are surprisingly not too messy either. This did the trick all the way to the lake, and part or the way back down. (Side note, Little Bear loves the mint chocolate ones, but my friend’s daughter had a very different reaction to them! She found the mint flavor to be “spicy”. There are four different flavors to choose from, so there are options.)

"I do it myself!"

We ate our lunch (by “we” I mostly mean the Papa Bear and I, since our son had recently consumed half his weight in dried fruit and chocolate) atop a ridgeline overlooking the brilliant blue water of Hope Lake. We took some time to romp around the high meadow and explore before needing to head back down.

High alpine flowers in summer are one of my favorite things!

As we descended with the Little Bear on Papa Bear’s back, he conked out for about 45 minutes, his longest nap the whole trip. (Yes...no nap WAS beginning to wear thin. Thanks for asking.) We crossed paths with numerous other friendly hikers, many of whom had loud exclamations about us bringing a two year old on a 5 mile round trip hike in the mountains. No one was negative really, just surprised that we would attempt such a thing, and impressed with the hubby for carrying him in the pack. And...of course people are surprised. Parenting and wrangling a toddler is a challenge even in highly controlled situations. Hiking a steep trail to above tree line elevation (about 11,500 ft) is also a particular challenge. Putting the two together to many people sounds like as much fun as a tooth extraction without anesthesia. But to us, it is all in a day’s adventure. Adventure by definition is not easy. It includes an element of challenge, effort, and expecting the unexpected. Adventuring with a kiddo is just a new angle and different slant on that expectation.

Nap time is nigh and mischief is unfolding. But oh so adorable! 

Its always sad to leave a beautiful spot. 

Can you spot the conked out toddler in the pack? 

The next day we ventured into Telluride to replenish some supplies and taste the gluten free pancakes offered at The Butcher and the Baker. It was a farm chic hipster joint with kind but slow service, a bright and pleasant atmosphere and a predictably astronomic Telluride prices. Thankfully, considering the cost, the blueberry gluten free pancakes didn’t disappoint. If you are big fan of hash browns though, this might not be the place for you. It’s an extra $3 charge to have hashbrowns with your bacon and eggs, and you get about three tablespoons of spuds.

Anyone think this would make a fine vacation home?

From the town of Telluride you can see Bridal Veil Falls cascading over the cliffs. We drove up to the base of the falls for a better view. The huge old house on the cliff inspired imagination of what it might be like to live in such a place listening to crashing water all the time and surveying the valley below.

"Mama! I'm cold! Nuggle me!" Sure thing my love. 

Once we had enough “city” life, we drove up to the town of Ophir easily my favorite little southern Colorado town so far. There is literally nothing there. Just a couple of streets of basic wooden houses clearly occupied by climber/mountain biker/skier dirtbags. Ahh….my idea of a perfect little place. We continued through towards the Ophir pass road and found a hidden little trail next to a creek. We had a surprising and delightful little hike along what appeared to be a locally constructed trail.

Our surprise trail near Ophir. This photo is going down as a top ten fav of my boys. No doubt. 

Our last and final day before packing up to head home Papa Bear and I took turns riding a section of the Galloping Goose Trail. Galloping Goose mostly follows an old mining railroad grade alignment. Tons of interesting old railroad and mining pieces along the route and a number of sweeping vistas. The section we traveled was quite easy from a technical perspective and not terribly steep in most section, so would make a very doable snd beginner friendly out and back instead of a shuttle if you have the time.  

Galloping Goose Trail

Viaduct along the Galloping Goose. 

He's cute when he's showing off. 

That evening we enjoyed our last dinner overlooking the stunning mountain views we had come to love. Until next year Colorado. Until next year.  

While we waited for Papa, we played by the creek. 

"Galloping Oscar" taking a break in the water on our ride. 

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Southern Colorado with a Toddler Part 2

Tag teaming is an essential part of co-parenting for my husband and I. We both have things we need to do to fill our souls that are impractical to bring the Little Bear along for.

Mountain biking is arguably how my husband and I met, and as you can imagine, it is one of those things we both need to to do from time to time to feel like a functional human (or at least a polite one).

On beta from a good friend, we planned to take turns for the next two days of our trip riding the Hermosa Creek Trail, with the non-riding adult picking the rider up at the bottom of the trail. For any friends or readers who are fellow mountain bikers, especially those from Flagstaff, you might have an ethic one way or another about shuttling trails. Shuttling is where a rider is dropped off at the top of a trail and rides (usually downhill) to the other end where the car is waiting for them, preferably with a cold beverage at the ready. In Flagstaff, we never shuttle. Ever. Even driving to the trailhead better have a good reason. From most of our town you can ride straight from your home to connect with a vast network of trails, most of which have decently thought out alignment minimizing erosion and unrideable grades. So there is little reason to use a vehicle to get you up the hill only to ride back down it. Just pedal! Use the quads yo mama gave you son!    

So many spots along this trail demand that you stop to appreciate the beauty, and tempt you to want to jump in. 

In my younger childless days, I first rode in Colorado bringing my “never shuttle” Flagstaff ethic along like so many rocks in my panniers. After a number of frustrating bike hikes and crossing too many potential rides off the list because they were impractical to self shuttle, I have learned better and become a lot less smug. Folks, Colorado is not Flagstaff. Nearly every trail I have ever ridden there is steep to the point of stupid, has long and brutal road sections between trails making the self shuttle impractical or impossible. Hermosa Creek was no exception. Self shuttling would have meant almost 50 miles of riding, only 18 of which would have been the trail in question and the majority of the remaining miles on shoulderless mountain highway. No. Thank. You. If you are still worried about shuttling because it is important to you to “earn” your downhill, don’t fret. Even “downhill” trails have climbing in Colorado. Hermosa creek spends most of the last 6 miles in a 1600 vertical foot climb.

Does this mud splashed face look like it cares about shuttling anymore? Nope. 

This letting go of perfectionism has been a huge and excruciating lesson for me in motherhood. There was a time, younger, fitter and faster that I would perhaps have insisted on a self shuttle. I would have spent an entire day from dawn til dusk killing myself to do the whole thing without a car shuttle, because it’s the “right” way to do it and to compromise would have bruised my ego. If I had been unwilling to just shuttle this trail I would missed 18 miles of some of the most sublime, inspiring single track in the Four Corners area. Want to keep your own passions, hobbies and adventures a priority in parenthood? Let go of perfection and get it done. Take the one hour ride you can get instead of the 6 hour ride that is rarely available. Host that imperfect dinner party with chinese take out, instead of waiting for enough time to have a spotless house and gourmet four course meal. Buy the ticket to travel to the place you CAN afford instead of waiting around for a windfall to go to the place that is financially out of reach. In the end, it will be the things we consistently do that make up the story of our lives. If we never get out there because we need the conditions to mimic some preconceived notion of perfection, years will pass and we will have failed to spend our time the way we wanted to. We will continue to mutter some mantra about a fictitious “someday” that isn’t coming.   

My steed, a top one of the many bridges along Hermosa Creek. Surface water is a huge treat for us dry country folks. 

What a spectacular payoff it is to just get out there and do it! The first half of Hermosa Creek trail follows a wide and welcoming path along, unsurprisingly, Hermosa Creek. Mixed conifers, flowing stream, and gorgeous water holes hiding fish that tease local anglers to come and get em. This first half, though trending downhill, isn’t particularly steep, and would make a very reasonable out and back ride or hike for those not wanting to do the whole length or who are just getting started and want a ride with minimal technical challenges. The trail changes to single track where it continues to follow the creek for another third of the ride, though it frequently winds a little further up the hillside than in the previous section. The high moisture level of the area in general, mixed with some heavy rains in the previous days made the ride fairly slick and felt a bit like riding on a muddy slip and slide. After one of a number of creek crossings, the last one with a wooden bridge, the trail begins the final climb in earnest. It winds its way up to a bench dotted with scrub oak, ponderosa pine, and cedar. A amusing concoction of species frequently found in Flagstaff, but rarely seen together at the same altitude. Having gotten a later start than I had hoped, I hit the steep climbs just as the afternoon rainstorms began. I attempted to pedal up what had become a creek in its own right. The water and mud made traction non-existent, making the attempt to move forward a real life replica of those dreams in which you are running as hard as you can and not getting anywhere. I eventually had to get off and push the bike up through the pouring rain, smiling all the way. Eventually the rain cleared, and I made the final descent to the trailhead to meet my ride. I was inspired, full of dopamine, and satisfied.

It got a little rainy out there! 

Each evening after our rides, Iorek was full of energy and ready to ride himself. Pre-dinner evening strolls for us and bike ride for the Little Bear became a lovely part of the day. It is satisfying to the soul to have the opportunity to not only pursue my own passions, but to share them with my son and watch him get so much joy out of it too.

The kid loves to ride! Does a mamas heart good.

Is waiting for perfect conditions keeping you from doing the things that would feed your soul and nourish your spirit? I would love to hear what you want to do, and how you think you can get out of your own way to do it. Leave me a comment and let me know.

Of an evening. 

One more installation in the series coming next week! 

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Back to Me

Someday, I will untangle all the messy pieces of my thoughts about the struggle of my first two years of parenthood. I'll sort out all the emotions, the whys and hows of postpartum depression that was missed for WAY too long. I'll get it all out in some eloquent way and make sense of it all. Find the thread of the story that makes it meaningful, and not so heartbreaking. 

Summer vacation 2015, 1.75 years into motherhood. Still feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and struggling to enjoy even things that used to make me happy. It was some point during this trip I began to realize this wasn't normal. That something beyond "new mom overwhelm" was happening. 

But right now I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about the turning point forward. The glorious revival. Everything that comes after the moment when my therapist looked at me and said, "What can you do right now to help you feel more like yourself? To make you feel wild and free like you did before...even if it's just for a few minutes a day?" I want to talk about feeling good. I want to talk about returning to the mountains, Returning to the Wild. Returning to me. 

I want to talk about adventures I've had and adventures to come. I want to talk about making the most of "this one wild and wonderful life". I want to talk about being fully present in my life and how you can find yourself out there too. I want to talk about getting stoked, and spreading it far and wide. Want to get stoked with me? Good! Let's go! 

Summer Vacation 2016, 2.75 years into motherhood. My depression and adrenal fatigue has been getting treated for 8 months now. My experience of our trip this year was 180 degree different. It was joyful, fulfilling, and lovely.  

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